Heroin Withdrawals - There is help You can Do IT

There is help for you!


Kicking dope sucks, whether it's heroin withdrawals, or any opiate, they are all hard as hell to get off.  People with prescriptions for oxycontin or oxycodone have the same withdrawals as people that by junk off the street.  There is no difference except in how society perceives us.  When I was a junkie, a full blown heroin user, I experienced "withdrawals" on a regular basis, of course, we called it being "dope sick" because that's what it was, sick until we get dope.  But don't be scared of dope sickness, the fear of being sick has kept a junkie using for years, when if they had faced the fact that, being dope sick only lasts a few days and really isn't that bad, their life would have been saved.  That's what addiction does to us.

After several years sober, without anything, and I mean anything not even a little joint, or a shot of whiskey, I thought that I had made it.  Going to meetings on my anniversary, or when I needed a little ego boost, but not attending regularly.  It's a common problem with those who relapse, they stop going to meetings.  You don't need meetings, or AA, NA, or a magic potion, all that is needed to stay sober is a sense of being "spiritually fit".  I say all, as if it's nothing, but that is far from the truth.  Being spiritually fit is one of the best feelings a person can have.  People without alcohol or drug problems are not necessarily spiritually fit, they just don't deal with their issues the way, we addicts and alcoholics do.  For example, my sister has the same "issues" I did growing up, she is bulimic, when she doesn't like how she's feeling, she eats like a pig and then pukes all night.  Is that the same as drug addiction, yep!  Well, if you ask my opinion it is.  We both find unhealthy ways to get out of feeling whatever feeling it is we don't want to feel.

What does all this have to do with withdrawals?  Not a lot probably, except I wanted to point out, that regardless of whether it's heroin or oxycontin or oxycodone or morphine or any opioid, the "sickness" is the same.  How we got there is the same.

Back to the story well after being sober for years, I hurt my back, the was the collapse of my world!  The doctor gave me vicodin, and considering my history I was worried.  I told myself I'd just take them as prescribed, what a bunch of bullshit.  I knew I was lying to myself, but deep down, still a dope fiend.  I thought that part of me had died, but it's still there waiting for you to screw up.  It started with vicodin and well you can probably figure out it escalated quickly, I took more than I should have, and of course then I ran out before I was supposed to.  I had a doctor who gave me just about whatever I asked for a the time.  I was about to have surgery so the doctor felt as though if I was in pain, I could take as much as I wanted, because after surgery I wouldn't be in pain anymore and wouldn't need the pills.  Maybe if I was "normal", but I'm not, after surgery, they gave me a magic button to push, that instantly gave me the same feeling and rush that heroin had years before.  Only, it was ok now, because a doctor gave it to me.  Again, bullshit!  I knew what I was doing, and so does every other junkie who relapses.  We know the second we screw up, but we lie to ourselves.  Why, it's the nature of the disease.  Long long story short -- I had to have more and more "medication" to kill the pain, and more and more to get "high", because regardless of the pain, I didn't care so much about that anymore, I just cared about feeling high.

What does this have to do with heroin -- EVERYTHING, because eventually, the doctor will stop giving you meds, and you know in your mind you are going to be sick.  No one wants to go thru withdrawals, whether it's my script for oxymorphone (dilaudid) or heroin, the same sickness overwhelms your body.  Only to make matters worse, you knew what you were doing!  And, did it anyway!  I know the day is coming when I'll be sick, or I'll take the next step and drive to the city and look for street drugs.  I've already made the transition from simply taking the medication to shooting it.  I'm not spiritually fit anymore, haven't been for a long time, I let it all drag me down.  I made the mistakes we all know we are making when we make them.  I know it will be soon.  Will I be strong enough to save myself enough meds to ween myself down and not be sick, NO WAY, I know that.  I never could handle my meds, I'm from the school of "when all you have left is a dime, get your shoes shined".  In other words, go out in a blaze of glory!  I'm going to be sick, and it'll be soon, I have made the preparations already, bought imodium for the diarrhea, some cold medicine for the runny nose.  Some prescriptions for nuerontin and trazadone and xanax, will make the process easier, but the worst part is the depression.  I know how depressed I'm going to feel, laying there sick, thinking about how it felt when I'd have to kick dope, because I ran outta money, or connections.  The hardest part is kicking yourself!  Not kicking dope!  But kicking yourself, while your down, it is not the time for lecturing yourself, about what you should have done and this and that.  I know all that, what I need to do, just like everyone else facing withdrawals, is get it done and over with, and start over!  Just start over, if you wanna go to meetings and it helps, then go.  

It's not going to be easy.  Meetings or sponsors or support or whatever, being sick and knowing you did it to yourself SUCKS!  I can't believe I went down this road again, but I did, and now I gotta pay for it, so buckle up and hold on, cuz this ride is no fun, but it has to be done, because the next step I take will be heroin, and I've been down that road enough times to know, I won't live through it again.  It took years to get my life to be like a normal persons.  As soon as I started buying other peoples pills, things got bad fast, then shooting them, what the hell is wrong with me?  But, it's over and done now, time to get it together before losing my kids, or my house, or my life.  I know I can do it, and you can too.  It won't be easy, but I'm doing it too, and we can do this!  It is hard, but it's time to put it down, before it's too late.  I'm praying for the strength to do it right this time, and I'll be praying for you to.

If you are looking for help with heroin withdrawals check out this site  Help with withdrawal symptoms
I wrote that back when I was still sober, but the advice is good still.  Just because I relapsed, doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about, it just means I take my own damn advice!


If you don't find the help you think you really need, then please keep looking there are tons of sites, with tons of advice.  Don't give up giving UP!


There is a lot of help out there, hang in there, it will be tough, but you can do it!  I'm writing to you but I'm writing what I need to hear myself.  I can do this, I've done it before, and I'll get it right this time, and so can you!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

 Oh, and if this is your first time -- It's not as bad as you think it is! Seriously it is not that Bad!  The media and hype is a bunch of crap, its uncomfortable, even a little painful at times, but the worst part of getting off drugs is the bashing to your self-esteem you will give yourself.  So save that for some other time, you need encouragement, not "I told you so's".  It'll be ok, you'll be fine, it only lasts a few days, so hang in there and don't give up giving up.

My favorite AA saying -- Don't leave before the miracle happens.